


Pick Up By The Third Ring Or I Will Drag You Home And Comfort You

by HaroThar



Category: Undertale
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Panic Attacks, Papyrus panics and Undyne has to help, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 11:46:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7169714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaroThar/pseuds/HaroThar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Undyne's best friend has a bad time, so of course she's gotta fix it! Neither of them really knows what they're doing, but that doesn't stop them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pick Up By The Third Ring Or I Will Drag You Home And Comfort You

Undyne possesses many skills. However, there are also many that she doesn't. Patience. A comforting nature. Impulse control. An ability to calm people down. Any chill, anywhere, in her entire body. The capacity to soothe others. Rationale thought under pressure. The ability to calm down her own best fucking friend when he's panicking and his bones are clattering against one another and he's clawing at his skull like he hopes that’ll make it stop and still _smiling_ like he thinks he can fool her now, make her think he's still okay.

“Papyrus,” she says, and her voice is loud and brash because if he can pretend he’s okay by smiling, she can pretend that she's okay if she just stays loud- keeps barreling forward- if she doesn't slow down and recognize the fact that she has no idea what she's doing.

“I’m _fine_ , Undyne! Really, it’ll pass in a moment and I’ll-” his speech is ruined by another wave of panic that cuts him off mid-reassurance. He whines like the static buzz of a TV still warming up and Undyne feels a strong desire to punch him. Realistically she knows that she cannot punch him better, that physical violence will solve absolutely nothing in this situation, but she still wants to punch him. Instead, she squats down in the snow, takes a deep breath, and thumps him heartily on the back, like her dad would do to her but about a hundred times rougher because she’s tough like that.

Actually, that was a good line of thought. Just. Do what dad would do in this situation.

She realizes she has only a vague idea of what Asgore would do in this situation, mostly because her panic attacks tend to involve a lot more screaming and a _lot_ more breaking things. She thumps Papyrus’ rattling back again and surveys the quiet forest. Snow shifts about quietly in the gentle breeze, what is classified as a stormy wind here in the Underground that never changes. Paw prints are rarely found out this far, but a few show an excited trek from some time ago. Pine needles cast their prickly judgement on her failures as a friend. Papyrus’ ramshackle guard post stands to her back, still endearing and kinda kickass in a roundabout, backwards way.

“Hell, _you’re_ kickass in a roundabout, backwards way,” she mutters, glaring at her friend because he’s _sad_ and she can't fix it by skewering anything. His teeth click against each other and the tiny pricks of light in his sockets shift towards her, his skull swaying on his cervical atlas to tilt inquisitively.

“Like, you're the Great Papyrus, right?” Undyne half-shouts. Okay, excessive praise might, possibly, maybe work. “You're _awesome_ , you're always really friendly and you’re super tough but you choose to use your strength to be helpful and nice and shit! You are a _great_ person, Papyrus!”

Papyrus gives her a smile, a genuine one, a tiny one. He then shrugs, his bones clicking tiredly in their sockets, and looks away from her again. That's an idea that gets discarded, but oh well. Time to try something else!

Like…

Fuck what would dad do what would dad do?

“Would you like a cup of tea?” Undyne blurts, spewing the first thing that comes to mind. Papyrus laughs a little and Undyne counts it as a victory, who cares if the cost involves a bioluminescent blush behind her freckles.

“We’re in the middle of Snowdin forest,” Papyrus tells her, and his voice isn't quite so panicky now. He’s still shaking hard enough for her to hear him rattling, but if he can talk coherently then he's doing better than he was before she got there.

It's nice, knowing that something's wrong before even getting to the third ring.

“And my house is a hop skip and a jump that way!” Undyne insists, because she has gotten an inch and she will persist on it, because what else is she supposed to do? Sit here uselessly while her friend shakes? No way in hell. She's gotta fix it somehow, and right now her brain is telling her that making him tea back at her place is the best way to do it.

He stays on his feet when she hauls him up onto them, and his trembling fingers curl around hers when she takes his hand in hers.

“You're trembling too, and you're fine,” Papyrus points out.

“I am fucking _cold_ , Papyrus!” And if she is panicking, she's sure as hell not going to admit it.

They walk past the dogs, both of them flashing wide, toothy, convincing smiles at the canines, both of which all dogs buy. They hasten through Snowdin, Undyne trying to be as noisy as she normally is, loudly announcing that she is coming through with a best friend in tow and they are _going places!_

“River?” Undyne asks, because she knows Papyrus likes the River Person but she also knows that if they stop moving the shaking will come back and Papyrus won't want to do that in front of the friendly neighborhood ferry person. His head shakes minutely, and she barrels on through the remainder of Snowdin.

Waterfall is easier. It's dark, the walls cocooning them reassuringly and the echo flowers whispering their glowing hopes and wishes. Papyrus doesn't have to smile as much there because there are less people to smile at, less people within a direct line of sight. Undyne knows he’ll smile at everyone they cross, doesn't bother to try and stop him. She won't ask him to change, not that drastically, not when it's hard to tell when his smiles are fake because he’s done it for so long that he's mastered the art of lying without words. If her chest aches, it's from the sudden change in humidity, and it has nothing to do with the trembling bones underneath her fingerprints.

The moment they get into Undyne’s home she grabs every blanket in the house and meticulously piles them on top of Papyrus, making him sit on the small guest stool and forcing him into a nest of plush and fuzzy textiles. Then she sets to making tea, because she has to keep busy because she needs to _fix it._

She wishes tea didn't take so long to make.

They stew in silence, sitting and standing, neither looking directly at the other.

“Weren't you the one that said she was cold?” Papyrus says eventually.

“Ha! It takes more than a little cold to beat me!” Undyne says with a dramatic thumb pointed at herself. She loses that hot air when they fall back into silence.

Undyne is saved by the tea kettle screeching at her, and she pours out two cups. She even lets Papyrus have her special fish shaped cup, the one that Asgore gave her.

“So!” Undyne starts when she's seated and they both have a cup of tea, “who do I need to beat up?!”

Papyrus stretches an arm across the table and pats her hand, like _she's_ the one that needs calmed. “Nobody needs beat up, Undyne! I'm just, having a bit of a bad time is all! Really, you didn't need to go through all this trouble!”

Undyne grips Papyrus’ hand in hers and raises off her stool, clasping the bones like she means to arm wrestle. “I absolutely needed to go through all this trouble! You are sad and I gotta fix it!”

Papyrus chuckles at her. “I don't think even you, the Great Undyne, can fix this.”

“Fucking watch me!”

He laughs again, bones still shaky in her palm. His other fingers scratch restlessly at the fake scales on the cup. “It's just a panic attack Undyne, nothing really, there's nothing here to fix.”

“Rraaagh! There's gotta be _something_ I can do, Pap, c’mon just- just- tell me what to do or something!”

Papyrus brings her hand closer so he can bump his scalp against her knuckles, an odd but clearly affectionate head butt.

“Maybe just- can I talk about it?”

Undyne’s grin turns a little sour, but she is determined to help her bestie and if that means sitting and not doing anything… Well fuck if she isn't gonna give it her all!

“Yeah! Hit me! But like in a metaphorical, verbal way, since that's what you want to do right now!” She slams her hands onto her knees and stares intently at Papyrus, actively doing nothing, look at her, being quiet and sitting still. Papyrus chuckles at her and stares at his tea.

They sit.

“So… Who do I need- wait fuck no I already asked that. Uh.” Supportive best friend supportive best friend. “What- do you want to talk about?”

“I'm not sure?” Papyrus scratches his fingers along the inside of his ulna. “I don't really talk to people about,” he waves his hand vaguely, “this.”

Undyne slams her hands on the table. “And that's the problem! Which means we’ve gotta fix it and start in on making you not not talk to people about it! So…! Talk to me!!”

“Okay,” Papyrus is smiling a little broader now, and it still doesn't look forced. “What should I talk about?”

Undyne stands, soldier marches around her table, actively reminds herself that this is _not_ the time to head butt him, which leads to her standing there- awkwardly silent- for a few seconds as she glares down at him, and then flops onto his lap. Her body is forced into his personal space, barreling straight in, and the two end up knocked off the stool and in a pile on the floor. She makes a loud “Nraaaagh!” noise as she falls and slaps a hand down on his skull, violently physically affectionate.

“Just- tell me what happened! Report, soldier!” Undyne orders with her most authoritative voice, which really just means that she's being extra loud and forceful. But hey, it's what works.

Papyrus chuckles shakily underneath her and she's pretty sure she's only imagining that she can feel his trembling. “I was patrolling in Snowdin forest.”

Undyne focuses on being a Good Listener and keeping her mouth shut, but she gives Papyrus as large of a reassuring smile as she can, which might not actually be all that reassuring but it's _Papyrus_ and he knows her.

“And I was at the sentry station I had made, minding my business, doing my puzzles. I had a crossword puzzle that I had brought along with me, because it's important to keep my wit sharp!”

“Yeah!” Whoops. Listening, Undyne, _listening_.

“And so I was just- just minding my own business, doing my crossword, and one of the hints... It was- stupid, it was stupid and silly of me to get all worked up over.” He turns from her, grimacing because even when it's just them, and he's clearly uncomfortable, he has to smile. She smacks him on the head and bares her fangs at him.

“It's not fucking stupid if it upsets you!” Undyne shouts and Papyrus smiles apologetically. “You're gonna fucking tell me what's wrong because that's what friends do!!” Undyne does not add the “right?” onto the end of that sentence because if she can’t be confident in this situation, Papyrus won’t be confident in _her_ and she won’t be able to help him and she can't deal with that.

“I just- it's nothing-”

“It's _not_ nothing!” Undyne screams as she lifts herself up and impulsively head butts into Papyrus’ skull. He lets out an “oof!” but she knows he's fine. She feels a little bad, but it's too late to take it back now. “So tell me what's upsetting you!”

“Can I just say it upset me, and move on to what happened next?” Papyrus asks, eyeing the spot where Undyne’s forehead collided with his, checking to see if her blue flesh is bruised. She grimaces and settles back down in his lap.

“I guess? Does that work?”

“I think it should.”

Undyne snorts and Papyrus chuckles along. “We have no idea what we’re doing,” she admits, because if it's _we_ and not _I_ then she doesn't feel quite so bad about feeling like a fish out of water.

“To be fair, I do feel better now!”

“Good!!! We’re gonna keep going then!”

“Agreed! We must see this friendly reassurance through to completion!”

“Yeah!!! Gonna do the best friend thing here in this house of mine!”

“May I have some more tea before we continue, though?” Papyrus asks and Undyne grins a little wider. She stands and picks his fish mug (her fish mug?) up off the table and refills it from the kettle, returns to him, and then settles her head on Papyrus’ lap like a normal person for once. He sips from the cup and then rests it playfully on her forehead, causing her to snort.

“Am I your table now?”

“It does appear to be that way!”

“Oh really? Tell me, Papyrus, do tables where you come from carry the fury of ten thousand Hotlands? Do your tables eat rocks like cereal? Are tables where you come from regularly punching people in the face? Is that what a table is to you?”

Papyrus lets out a string of “nyeh heh heh”s at her shenanigans and she grins up at him, something tight and aching in her chest slowly unspooling at his laughter.

“There’s my Pap.”

He smiles softly down at her, skeletal grin made sweet. It’s enough to make her want to coo at him. Or break something. She actually really wants to break something because his smile makes her feel fuzzy and physical violence is her go-to method for dealing with fuzzy feelings.

She takes a deep breath.

And she chirps at him. Her freckles are glowing like lanterns but she does, in fact, make a soft, sweet little noise at him. Because he's her best friend and if she's going to make that noise at anyone, it may as well be him.

His bones rattle rhythmically back at her, a soft susurrus like pebbles in a rainstick. It is the sweet hum of bone against bone that tells Undyne that Papyrus has stopped shaking.

She's not sure when it stopped. But however she got him to this point, she decides not to regret it. No matter that the star maps of freckles on her face and the tops of her arms are glowing like Cavern Squeakers. No matter that the freckles bunched together like soap bubbles in a dish sink on her chest and belly and back and legs and the underside of her arms are also probably glowing like Asgore’s Fire. Hell, even if she was blushing beneath the freckles that sugar coat the backs of her hands and tops of her feet, it'd be worth it!!!

Papyrus takes another drink from his tea and then strokes the side of it thoughtfully, his ribcage still rumbling like a rainstick.

“I just started panicking,” he admits with a sigh. “I don't know- well. I guess I do know why, but I don't want to talk about it. So I crouched down in the snow and started scratching at my skull, because that usually helps, and then low and behold my best friend shows up! And I guess… That's it?”

“I called you,” Undyne informs him from her place on his lap. “I called you twice and you didn't answer either time. I thought you were dead or unconscious or that you had lost your phone.” She lifts a hand and taps her knuckles against his browbone. “You usually pick up by or on the third ring.”

“Sorry! I must not have felt it buzzing.”

Undyne swats at his face. “Don't apologize for having a panic attack!!”

“But you brought it up!”

“I was letting you know I was worried!”

“Oh.” Papyrus seems genuinely taken off guard by that. She resists the urge to punch him once again. How dare he think she wouldn't worry about him! How dare he think she'd just assume everything was fine when he started acting off! How dare this whole goddamn fucking universe give someone like Papyrus the ingrained notion that if he just keeps smiling, he can fool literally everyone into never worrying about him!

“You're a dumbass,” she informs him. She sits, takes the tea from his fingers and sets it on the table, and then pulls him into a fish hug. It's like a bear hug, but more kickass, ‘cause she's a fish.

Papyrus hugs her in return, and it feels right.

“Hey, Pap,” She pauses to pull back, look him in the eye, and clear her throat, because her voice isn't coming out as tough as she wants it. “From now on, you gotta call me when you get a panic attack! That's an order from the Head of the Royal Guard! Don't you dare forget it!” _Don't you dare think you can just keep pretending you're fine when you're not_ , she doesn't add.

“Nyoo hoo hoo, is that so?” Papyrus asks with a playful grin. Undyne feels as though he understands what she means, unless she's imagining the slight edge of gratitude in his voice.

“It is so! Which means you have to, or I can arrest you ‘cause you’ll have broken the law!”

“Nyeh heh, I, the Great Papyrus, would never be such a recreant rascal as to break a law!” His hands rest on her sides and press softly on the gills below her shirt, and her hands tighten on his shoulders as she grins, feeling victorious.

“...thank you, Undyne.”

“Hey, hey! Don't go all mopey on me now! You were feelin’ better!” she protests.

“Nyeh heh heh, I _am_ feeling better Undyne! Just not back to my normal, astoundingly great self.”

Undyne fidgets, gears in her brain whirring. She _has_ to do something else, something more. Papyrus is upset and she has to _fix it_ and she can't but she _has_ to, she has to think of _something_ because-

“Undyne,” Papyrus says softly as his gloved hands cup her face. She hisses at him briefly, then settles into a childish growl, earfins pinned down.

He laughs at her. Ass.

“ _Undyne_ ,” Papyrus repeats, “I’m fine! Really, you've done more than enough.”

“But you're still _sad_!” she protests.

“Not really,” Papyrus shrugs and flashes her a grin, and it's honest and genuine and warm as the soul that flutters in his ribcage. “Maybe a little, but in a short while I will be back to being totally great and cool and the most interesting skeleton in the Underground! Just… not right now, you know? I think now is the part where I just take a little time, and there's really nothing else you can do about that I'm afraid. Nyeh heh heh.”

Undyne “ugh”s in frustration and headbutts his shoulder. “But I wanna make you feel better _now_!”

“Which I appreciate with every bone in my body made entirely of bones!” Papyrus wraps his arms around her and she reciprocates the hug immediately. “But I think leftover sadness vapors are enemies even the Great Undyne cannot defeat without aid from Madame Time!”

“That's a bunch of bullshit.”

Papyrus pats her back and smiles into her hair, truly appreciative for such a good friend.

“What do we do until then?” Undyne asks, letting her pride fall like a slippery blanket about her shoulders. She can admit to not knowing what she was doing. She can. Papyrus doesn't need her to be totally competent all the time, she can totally ask for help on how to help him. She's got this. (She so doesn't got this but she’s trying.)

“Cuddle and watch Mettaton?”

Undyne stands and scoops up all the blankets, Papyrus inside them. “I am gonna cuddle the _shit_ outta you!” she exclaims, lifting her best friend bundle above her head.

“Nyeh heh heh!!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> (To those of you worried about Riverparent, I'm still working on it! I just, took a break for this.)


End file.
